Common Questions about Play Therapy

Play therapy is a wonderful therapeutic tool used by trained child therapists to help children process their emotional struggles in non-threatening ways. Play therapy is often times used with children under the age of 12 and can involve art, music, dance, writing, role play, working with miniatures in the sand tray and more. Play is the natural language of children and the best way to understand our little ones’ inner world. 

Here are some of the most common questions about my work with children in play therapy:

Are you just playing with my child?

Very often, parents and caregivers wonder if what the play therapist does is just play with the child as they would do it at home. To be fair, for the untrained eye, play in play therapy can look very similar to everyday play. However, regular play is not the same as therapeutic play. Play therapists are trained to identify patterns, themes and qualities in play that can be used to understand the child’s inner world. Play therapists are also trained to intervene and respond to what happens in play in ways that can facilitate processing painful/stressful emotions, learning, changing beliefs, gaining mastery, among others.

Does my child do whatever they want to in play therapy? 

 As a rule of thumb as long as what your child wants to do in the playroom is safe for the child and therapist and is not retraumatizing/retriggering, children are generally allowed to play in any way they want.  Play therapists are also trained to set boundaries and contain highly dysregulated behaviour that can become dangerous or emotionally unsafe for your child. Boundaries are set by stating expectations very clearly and gently but firmly stopping behaviours that are not allowed in the playroom, such as, harming themselves or the therapist and redirecting these behaviours to more appropriate ones. 

Why are you playing? Therapy shouldn’t be fun!

This idea usually stems from the stereotype of adult counselling. Counselling with adults frequently involves a lot of talking and requires the use of cognitive abilities that children have not acquired yet. Children and adults don’t process, understand and communicate their experiences in the same way because children’s brains are not fully developed. Imagine asking your child to sit in a chair for 50 minutes straight, while an adult asks a ton of questions and expects him to be still and focused. That wouldn’t only be incredibly boring for your child and very challenging, but it could also be intimidating and scary. Play is the language of children. The truth is that therapy can be fun and also work.

How can therapy be helpful if my child only plays and doesn’t talk about their struggles?

Once again, this idea comes from misconceptions we have about what therapy looks like based on how adult counselling works. Play is a form of language and is loaded with metaphors and symbolisms that trained therapists are able to identify with precision. Also, an important aspects of play therapy is the way therapists respond to the child’s play, questions and comments, to facilitate the integration and processing of difficult emotions, experiences, fears, worries, trauma among others. It might be helpful to see toys as words and the play between your child and their therapist as a conversation. Children might not be able to verbalize their inner experiences as easily as adults do, but they definitely let us take a pick into their inner world through play, art and behaviour. 

Play therapy alone will fix my child

Play therapy is a powerful therapeutic tool. However, play therapy is one aspect of a child’s healing process. When possible, parent/caregiver’s involvement in the therapeutic process is strongly encouraged and desirable. Parent/caregiver sessions usually happen with a certain frequency in the context of child therapy. These parent sessions are an excellent opportunity to receive feedback, assess progress and help parents identify behaviours, beliefs and emotions that might be reinforcing or maintaining problematic responses in the child. Parent/caregiver sessions are also a space to increase caregivers’ sense of self-efficacy and confidence through increasing parenting skills.

Author: 

Susan Salazar is a Registered Clinical Counsellor in Vancouver, BC. who has years of experience providing counselling to adults, children and youth from North and South America. Susan also enjoys writing about topics related to psychotherapy, mental health, social justice, women's wellness, children and parenting.